Displaying page 56 of 96. Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96

Submitted by	Comments:
Beth Workman From: Conway, AR Website: E-mail: bworkman@alltel.net	My 6 year old granddaughter, Sam, was diagnosed last year with SM. She has always been extremely shy with people outside the family, even to the point of not eating at a restaurant if people other than family members were present at the table. She would not talk to anyone other than family until last year. Then a year ago June she quit talking to anyone except her mom , dad, and sister. Sam is extremely loving and playful and teases with all of us, but will not talk to us. She has started to laugh out loud occasionally with us, which she hasn't done since she quit talking to us. I am looking for any and all information I can find that might possibly help. My son found one book about school that Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum wrote, but we cannot find any of her other books. We are trying to find as much as we can so that her teachers at school will become more aware of what is going on with her. Last year, Sam would tape her homework, but this year she has refused and becomes upset when they try. My son did get her on tape by hiding a small tape recorder, but it is difficult to get her homework done when the teacher wants it. What I have read on this website has been encouraging, but also a little scary. I had hoped she would "outgrow" this in a year or so, but I am learning that it may be years. I am trying to find and read as much as I can about SM and then pass the information along to other family members and her teachers. If anyone knows where I can find more of the books by Dr. Shipon-Blum, I would appreciate hearing from you. I am grateful as one mother said that Sam's disability is only that she won't speak. It could be so much worse. I accept her and love her no matter what, but I do worry about her going to school and how the teachers will deal with her. Her friends accept her as she is even though they don't understand why she won't talk to them. I don't mean to ramble, but SM is something that most people know nothing about. Finding this website has been a blessing. Added: October 7, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
Stephen From: Houston, Tx Website: E-mail: scstepto@texaschildrenshospital.org	just so she could communicate to the teacher for my daughter. I work 2 jobs day and night to keep the rain off our heads, but I feel miserable knowing the fear my daughter had her first entire year of school, and I wasn't around. I read several others on the guest book, and I know they might feel the same. But, for me I can't help but think how many times I threatened her if "She didn't talk in class!" She is so vocal at home, to the point of us telling her to be quiet. But since all this has come to light. Her voice almost brings tears to my eyes. My wife is struggling with Anxiety herself, and my nerves are so shot I don't know what's in store for me. She is the sweetest kid in the world and full of energy. And I hate to imagine the things people might think about her because of her anxieties. I'm just starting to search for resources and therapy for our daughter. I work in a Children's hospital, so I'm sure that won't be a problem. But how invloved should I become. I mean I read about how rewards tothe child when she accomplishes or overcomes another obstacle should be minimal, and praise shouldn't be overwhelming. So how many doctors do we take her to? Are we subjecting more fear into her by analyzing this condition through a therapist/doctor? We've been blessed with a great teacher who even sent home a tape recorder for my daughter to participate orally in class. And my wife is the greatest, and has the patience I could never own. So where do we go from here? A trail of therapy, or family, friends, school? HELP! Added: September 19, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
Robin Bush From: Houston, Texas Website: E-mail: BushFamily4@aol.com	September 18, 2002 An Open Letter to The Selective Mutism Foundation, Inc. and its Concerns: Our journey with Selective Mutism (then labeled Elective Mutism) began in 1985 with our first-born child, a daughter, at age 3. A friend had called me and told me to turn on the Maury Povich show as they were talking about the same kind of behavior that had been witnessed in my own child. I was able to locate a phone number for Sue Newman and telephoned her that same day. Whether you realized it or not, Sue, you threw me a “life line” or a connection that day with someone else who understood. I tried to stay involved with the SMF until 1998 and always appreciated the information in Let’s Talk. Having just read an article by Stacey Burling entitled, Selective Mutism: Quiet Time to the Extreme, in the Houston Chronicle, Sunday, September 15, 2002, which highlights the work of Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum, I am compelled to once again get involved in the understanding of Selective Mutism. Feel free to contact me if I can be of any support or help, clinically, or to other parents. We have lived the journey. More than one doctor indicated to us that it was harder for a child NOT to speak than to speak. Children always want to share something going on at home, right? Ah contraire...not our child. She was creative, strong-willed and tenacious—but oh so silent. We have always been very open with our daughter regarding her handicap. We spoke about it openly and would sit down with her at each new level of maturation in her young life—talking about the possible reasons, giving her the opportunity to voice otherwise suppressed thoughts, the current problems, and the ways in which we (the parents) could make a difference. She never indicated the reason; only that she wanted to be able to talk like the other children. She simply did not know why. Our darkest days as parents were when we lost hope. I am here today to say that: WE HAVE KNOWN THE PAIN...WE NOW KNOW THE GAIN. There is hope. Robin Bush BushFamily4@aol.com (hm) Rbush@lucaspetroleum.com (wk) Our Story: Our daughter turns 20 years of age this Friday, September 20, 2002. We had been married 10 years when her presence finally blessed our lives. Her brother is 18. As a toddler, she was talkative and outgoing and would engage in conversation from the grocery store cart with anyone that would walk by. She was bright, creative, tenacious, and admittedly strong-willed. At age 3, we noticed that she would no longer respond to adults; by age 5 she no longer responded to children. We feared that our immediate family would be next. This never occurred. Her behavior was always passed off by family, friends and doctors as a shy stage. “All kids go through this at this age,” I was told by all too many. I felt in my heart that this was much, much more. Her mutism was so complete that if she was hurt in public, there would be tears from the crying and her mouth would be open -- but there would be NO sound. It nearly broke my heart. “Let it go; let it out,” I would tell her, but she could not. As her mother, the first two years were by far the most difficult, and there was little support or information that could be found. I repeated the same questions over and over again in my mind, What did we do wrong? What five minutes of her little life is there that I cannot account for her whereabouts? Did someone molest my child? My husband and I handled it differently, and more deeply at times than others. After two years of agonizing and soul-searching these questions, I finally had to let it go that I was not to know the answers to these questions. The heart-mode was too painful; the mind-mode difficult, but manageable. I had a choice: insanity or peace. I chose peace. Many would say that we could always count our blessings -- just visit Texas Children's Hospital. I could count my blessings! I had a special child -- and I was most grateful to the grace of God that I wasn't dealing with all the dastardly incurable illnesses that afflict children -- but I wanted my child to be NORMAL. This was a handicap without reason; without answers! Elementary school years were by far the most difficult. A school district even as large as Houston's had had no previous experience. During first grade the district/school recommended she be sent to a "special school." Upon interviewing all of these special schools, I learned that their purpose was to "mainstream" the child. Our child was already main streamed -- in fact, I had more than one teacher indicate, somewhat in jest, that they wished for several more like our child! The closest kind of school for our child was a school for the deaf. We saw this as a negative, rather than a positive change, thus we stood our ground on keeping her in regular school. We anticipated increased difficulty in dealing with teachers and administration at the junior high school level. To our surprise, the junior high years became less complex for both student and parents—the ensuing high school years even less difficult than middle school. The reason was soon revealed to us. School administrators deal with so many more difficult, sad, and criminal aspects of student behavior, that the issue of a mute child always paled to them in comparison. Children that she could communicate with by age 3 remained in her "safe repertoire" throughout her growing up years; however, all but one eventually moved away and most of those communicative contacts were lost. For the most part, she was comfortable expressing herself in writing and with body language. Once in kindergarten, our daughter never ONCE spoke in school, at church, or with relatives, yet she was normal at home. When I approached her about taking a sign language class during high school, it actually offended her! She responded, "Mother, I can talk." To which I quickly retorted, "But you don't!" I believed this ‘second language’ could have been helpful for her in life, yet she would have none of it. We sought counseling here in Houston -- mostly due to social as well as school pressure. We found it costly and uneventful, even after much research had been done on the group selected. After 18 mos., we felt as if they were looking to us for answers, yet we were paying them to find the answers. I recognize that we were some of the pioneering parents in this journey, and that educators and medical practitioners have gained much more knowledge since that time. On our own, we later tried mutually-agreed upon goal setting, reward setting, etc. As the targeted date would draw closer, she would become more and more depressed as she realized the goahe helped set were unattainable. These were actually negative experiences, rather than positive. She alwatated that she wanted to talk, but that she just could not. She had many friends that accepted her for who she was. Whereas some children would tease, other children became “mother hens” and somewhat protected her. Attending a music magnet school, she willingly participated in piano, guitar, handbells, school events, etc. She spent many over-nights with friends--as long as the family knew she could not speak. This was very important to her that the conditions be known, but not discussed necessarily. She was a beautiful child and that was her asset in elementary school. Although it is sad to think this is the case, society still is more accepting of "beautiful people." We had more than one person tell us this was to her advantage. I learned from former teachers that there was much frustration in dealing with a selectively mute child -- with each one believing at the beginning of the school year that they would "be the one" to break through, only to slowly realize as the months clicked away that they most certainly would not. This was not a defiant child -- this was a handicapped child. In junior high school and high school her beauty, coupled with her sweet spirit and preparedness in class became her assets for acceptance. During the elementary school years, I enjoyed sharing an occasional lunch time with my child in the cafeteria. Naturally-curious children would blurt out, "Why doesn't she talk?" I finally landed on an answer that seemed to help most children. I would slowly and tenderly state that: "Some children have eyes and cannot see; some children have ears and cannot hear, some children have legs but cannot walk...my daughter has mouth but cannot speak." This alwaeemed to satisfy their curiosity and to alleviate the questions in their little minds—it was something they could grasp. Over the yeao-called "friends" of ours said she would never get past kindergarten, then that she never make it in elementary school, surely not adapt to junior high or high school, never be able to baby sit, and certainly never drive a car. Why not?!?!? She did all of that and much, much more! I believe the experience I disliked the most as a parent was when people would be talking to my daughter and myself and they would act as if she was deaf—as well as mute. It was as if they believed she could not hear what it was they were saying even though she was standing right beside me. That happened so often and I do not understand that -- even from people that had known her most of her life. I must admit that meeting with the teachers the day before the start of a school year was most helpful. I brought copies of simple articles on Selective Mutism, gave them a list of the prior year's teachers to contact, and basically tried to take the "mystery" out of the handicap and to answer any questions they might have. We did not want her treated any differently, did not want special considerations (other than those required by law as stated in IEP/504 -- such as not being forced to stand up and report in class, etc.), and that we were available for conferences any time. This alwa*eemed to allay the "fears" of the new teachers as to handling this new situation. Because of a change in work situations, I was not able to meet with her high school teachers for her junior or senior years. We determined that it would just have to work itself out somehow on its own. A member of the National Honor Society and virtually a straight-A student, she graduated from high school 3rd in her class of nearly 600 students. Since she couldn't ask questions in class, she had to "dig" for the information herself. She always wanted to be prepared in class and to do well. When she announced to her parents that she wanted to attend the University of Texas in Austin, we were set back somewhat. (What changed about the small, local, private school that she had talked about for the last 3 years?) This is a huge campus and a college of some 55,000 students. How would she ever make it in a communicative world?!?!? We counseled with her as parent-child throughout the summer, stating that we fully supported her, but that she would need to find her way on into the rest of her adulthood as best she could; we could no longer be there for her to smooth out the rough spots. We asked her for permission to find whatever outside help we could for that remaining summer transition from high school to college—which she declined. She knew of nothing that we could do, but yet she retained an attitude of confidence just the same. She went off to student orientation late that summer of 2000, and upon her return it was apparent that she had communicated with her counselors during registration. We were on egg shells, gingerly reacting to what we were witnessing with her small acts of communication at the hair dresser, the mall, etc. We feared undoing anything! We could sense that as gradually as she became selectively mute, she was gradually transitioning back to a communicative state. We did not know what caused it and we were careful not to be the cause of any relapse. We did not talk in-depth about it for nearly 3 months, and I can say with full certainty that her first-year roommate, unknown to our daughter at move-in, never have a clue about our daughter's past life of mutism. That was then...this is now -- this seemed to be how she was approaching life. Now a junior, she continues to thrive at the university, making new friends, involved in outside interests and continuing to be an excellent student. She is majoring in nutrition and has plans to become a registered dietitian and continue on with a master’s program. She will never be a "jabberwocky" or the life of the party. But I must admit the first time I witnessed her answering the phone, or talking to her grandparents on the telephone, or ordering her own food, I was crying tears of joy on the inside, and shouting "hallelujah" -- but no one could hear me. It had to be a silent response. * * For whatever value or insight there may be, I have shared my daughter, my heart, and our life. There IS hope. Added: September 19, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
Renee From: Website: http://www.1800partyconsultant.com/75713 E-mail: weikert@superpa.net	I submitted a message here several months ago regarding my 5 year old son, getting ready to enter kindergarden, and diagnosed with SM. I have received a wealth of information and support from this site and I thank you. My son is doing very well in kindergarden. He has one friend that he speaks to, as long as there are not others around, and he will acknowledge the teacher if he is spoken to. And of course if it's one on one. This may not sound like a lot, but it it a tremendous step for him!!! For any parent dreading sending an SM child to school, take a deep breath and relax. Then, become your childs best advocate and do your homework!! Find out who your teacher will be, and get to know them. Make them aware of SM, what it is, how to deal with it, what to expect and what NOT to do. If at all possible, have your teacher make some home visits (we even had the principal and his dog at our house once a week all summer). Take your child to the school, before it starts and let him look around, check things out and get familiar with the surroundings. It's going to take a lot of time and a lot of work on your part, but it is worth it. There was no greater joy in my life than when the teacher called after the first day of school and said he did fine. He even said good bye to her at the end of the day. Chances are your child's teacher is not familiar with SM, that will be your job, but there is a lot of info on this site. Use it and learn it, and watch your child grow. I wish you all the best of luck!!! Added: September 18, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
Lisa Tepper From: Website: E-mail: LisaT25@msn.com	My four and a half year old didn't speak last year, his first year in preschool. He goes to school everyday, for half a day now and he hasn't spoken yet. He talks non-stop at home and is comfortable with his cousins to speak. He won't speak to the majority of people, but certain people, like our next door neighbors and certain babysitters he will talk to. I'm really stressing because next year he'll be in kindergarten and he needs to speak in kindergarten! One of the teachers in my middle child's elementary school mentioned SM to me and we just started seeing a new therapist. I must mention this to her. Thank you for a great source of information. Added: September 13, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
Lisa Beardsley From: Virginia Beach, VA Website: E-mail: MaddysComp2@cs.com	Our daughter, Madelin, is 4 years old and was just recently diagnosed with SM. She has been in pre-K since she was 2 and the teachers and speech therapists attributed her "shyness" to her age and told me not to worry about it....she'll outgrow it. I knew something wasn't right because she talks NON-STOP at home. She is a very bright child, but refuses to let anyone else (besides her family) know that she's smart. I am so worried that when it comes time to test her for special ed. vs. general education, that the schools will just assume she knows nothing and just place her in special ed because of her shyness. Madelin has cerebral palsy as well and already receives special ed services, but she is bright enough to be mainstreamed. This website truly has helped me understand her condition. We currently see a LCSW who has experience with SM kids. Thanks so much. Lisa Beardsley Added: September 6, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
Holly West From: Huntington, NY Website: E-mail: hjwest@optonline.net	A great website. Added: August 29, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
margaret tuominen From: marlboro,Ma. Website: E-mail: mattheangel@aol.com	My son is struggling with selective mutism in the second grade. He talks elsewhere but school seems to cause hin a lot of anxiety. the school personnel reacted with alot of anxiety and seemed to make matters worse until I asked them to back off and try to accept him I wonder what the correct treatment is for this disorder. Should he go to a reading specialist, a speech therapist, or a private psychologist? Thank you. Margaret Tuominen Added: August 29, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
Shelly Benkman From: Website: E-mail: thebenkmans@LVCM.com	I have a child who is 5, just entering kindergarten with S.M. I have met many people who have faced this same issue and put it off to shyness. One of which is a neighbor and friend. She didn't know that was what her daughter suffered from until we both found out later thru a mutual friend just this past year. My friends daughter now 8 is still quiet, but manages to talk, just not all the time to everyone. Some people think she is stand offish, but knowing what we know now and her anxiety with going into new situations, it is finally clear what the issue was. My son is OK with new situations now, however it used to be difficult to put him in daycare even for a few hours when I was in a Mom's group, MOP's (Mothers of Pre-schoolers). I finally dropped out, he was just miserable in the daycare! Now he seems to do well, but Kindergarten starts tomorrow, and I am hoping that the experience will be a positive one and he will be able to relax and begin to talk. He used to not talk even at a restaurant or while I was on the phone if he thought that there was someone who might hear him, even in the stores he would not say a word. Now he seems to not pay as much attention if it appears that they aren't paying attention and the people are not directly engaged in speaking with us. He will nod in response or say Uh- Huh. But usually not too much more. We don't push him, as that would only add to his anxiety. Both my friends daughter and my son excel in academics, even before entering school, it's like this thirst they have to learn. They are both very bright children! We learned thru a friend of a friend whose daughter, at our same school also suffered from S.M. Because of her we were given information about something we never knew existed! I have passed that on to people who I have met who also thought their child was just suffering from shyness. Maybe this is a shot in the dark... but I am RH- as is my friend with the daughter I spoke of, however I am sensitized and required Amnio's frequently and had to deliver a month early to keep the Bilirubin levels from getting too high. At birth, he had 2 blood transfers. Looking back he had these anxieties back to almost his first months, especially separation anxiety. Also, I had never had anxiety attacks until the end of my pregnancy. And then never had them after he was born. Just wondered if anyone else had any thing similar, I thought there might be a link, who knows. Added: August 26, 2002
Submitted by	Comments:
Diane Slater From: Website: E-mail: Divadi2477@yahoo.com	I have a four year old son who was diagnosed with Selective Mutism, while attending his first year of school. I found that video taping him saying his ABC's at home and talking was beneficial; Not only did it show he was "normal" it kept him from being the little quiet boy in the corner. As a mother I could not stand the thought that my bright child was struggling with talking in front of anyone( he is so outgoing at home) This really seemed to help our situation.Just thought I would share!!!!! Added: August 21, 2002

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96